Chapter 4 - Party Boy : Part 1

The gameplan had to change...

It was more than safe to say that my enthusiasm had waned since my encounter with Opposites-Guy... My interest in 'the gay scene' in Adelaide was failing rapidly - What little opportunities there were to meet a nice guy in Adelaide seemed to be few and far between...

The Mars Bar offered up a fun night out if you went with a crowd - but I couldn't stomach the idea of going alone... The music was good, and with friends at least you were guaranteed safety in numbers - The brief moments I had found myself alone at Mars in the past left me feeling awkward and uncomfortable: Older men (much older men) would slyly approach and smile drunkedly... like sharks... and whilst overly harmless their perusal creeped me out. Twinks (young, thin gay boys... or 'bois') would scream and vamp together in groups like seagulls, pouting their freshly glossed lips and constantly checking and re-checking their sculptured fringes... The occasional Muscle-Mary would appear in the crowd without his shirt on, though to even make eye-contact with such a guy was near impossible given the amount of drugs pumping through their system - A hazy dull gaze would probably be the most you'd get, and even then "boys like that" didn't go for "guys like me" ... All in all, Mars Bar was good for a dance, but that was about it... Actually going to the club in the hope of finding a possible 'guy-friend' wasn't neccessarily a practiced thing... A hook-up, possibly... But I wasn't interested in hook-ups. Especially given the crowd.

So.
Given the circumstances.
The internet, was where I was stuck.

I logged onto my computer.
And began again.

No... No... Too young... No... To old... No... No...
It continued like this for days.

And then, Sam turned up.

Sam messaged me a standard greeting and his profile certainly had me interested. He had listed his occupation as "Therapist" - And on chatting with him online, I discovered that he was actually a childrens Speech Pathologist. Further to this he was also a life-saver, and trained Nippers on the weekend when he could find the time - Judging from the photographs on his profile, this seemed to fit - He appeared a bit shorter than me, well built, broad shoulder, friendly smile, with short cropped mousy blonde hair. Pictures ranged from him with mates at a party, to him standing on a beach with the ocean in the background looking... well... life-saver-ish.

It was like the Gay-Gods were mocking me; tempting me with a good looking guy, healthy and fit, with a great job, great extra-curricular activities... AND he worked with children?

He was too good to be true.
I thrust a middle finger to the Gay-Gods and went for it...

Like I said, the gameplan had to change.

Firstly; rather than spend a couple of weeks getting to know them over MSN, I'd organise to meet them straight up after the first initial chat online - There are a couple of reasons for this... It doesn't waste time (if they're gonna end up being psychos, better to get it out the way than waste 2 or 3 weeks trying to determine if they are) And, there's less attachment, and less opportunity to build up an 'expectation', and risk another terribly awkward Opposites-Guy scenario...

Secondly; no more 'drinks'... no more 'dinners'... no more 'movies - Too much, too much, too much! Now, it was all about the lunch date... all about the brunch date... Doing this, I believed, would completely take the heat off any scenario I would normally set up in my head - If it was good, you had an afternoon or even an evening to extend into... if it was bad, you could easily come up with several reasons to not continue the date (I have rehearsals... Im babysitting... I have surgery...)

Sam and I organised to meet at a breakfast cafe he suggested just out of town - He would come up straight after Nipper Training (and pervertedly, I found the idea of him showering up at 'the surf club' before coming to meet up with me incredibly hot) and we'd have brunch.

The cafe was small, and 'communal' - There were no separate tables, just large trellises and benches. Luckily, there was only one other couple there, seated way down at the other end of the outside dining area, so arriving before him I had the opportunity to pick a space down the opposite end.

Sam arrived soon after me, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief - He looked exactly like he had in his profile pic... masculine, friendly, healthy... His broad shoulders and large arms filled out his polo-top beautifully... nicely tanned... he smelt like the ocean...

I reached out to shake his hand with a smile and it was returned with a solid, firm handshake that got my grandfathers nod of approval straight away.

"G'day, sorry Im late - One of the boys had to wait for his parents to pick him up..."

He wasn't late... in fact I think he had still arrived before time - But the fact his excuse was related the welfare of one of his nippers made me smile.

"It's alright... I hadn't even noticed"

Hadn't noticed? Huh? Hadn't noticed what? He wasn't late... What hadn't I noticed?
The imaginary Josh in my head mouthed four simple words:
Don't. Fuck. This. Up.

I was suddenly incredibly nervous... Sam was everything he had said he was. No opposites...
"I'll have a pineapple juice..." he ordered. Imaginary Josh nodded. Real Josh just sat in silence.

"I'll have a coffee, thanks" I spat.
A COFFEE? I didn't even drink coffee... What the fuck was I ordering coffee for?
"A flat white?" our waitress smiled.
"Yes..." I stammered "A flat... white...."

God...

After the initial nerves passed, the conversation flowed freely and easily. Sam was great. Sam was smart. Sam was funny. Sam was interesting.

Sam was hot.

We talked about family... friends... hobbies... We talked about guys...

"I don't really have time to catch up and meet other guys..." Sam spoke between drinks "It's nice to get out and actually met a nice guy for once"

I could feel myself blushing. "Me either..." I lied in reply "it's a nice change..."

A nice change from what? I panicked.

"...a nice change from being so busy."

Good save. Hold on, busy? Don't sound busy, you're not busy if you make it sound busy he'll think you don't have time for him and lose interest...

"But I've got more time on my hands lately..." I continued.

Shut up shut up shut uuuuuuuuuup. Imaginary Josh was waving his hands wildly in my minds-eye... You're rambling. Shut up!

I sipped at my flat white and tried to swallow it without cringing.
Suffer for your art, Josh.

Hell, this was exhausting.

We drank. We ate a light, healthy breakfast. We walked out into the street.

"Hey, this was fun..." Sam smiled. "What are you doing tuesday night?"
Rehearsal.
"Nothing..." I smiled in return. I pretended to think."Yeah... Nothing".
Rehearsal could wait.
"My mate is having going away drinks... you should come." he stated, chilled.

Hell yes.

We agreed to meet Tuesday night.

We shook hands again and parted ways. I floated back to my car like a 16yo girl.
My day continued in much the same fashion - I replayed my morning over and over again in my head - From start to finish, on an endless loop, all the way through lunch and into the evening.

That night, after I had finished my gym session, I drove lazily back through the city homeward bound - Skirting the city, I turned left and began to drive past a well known-strip in the gay community - An infamous beat - to shortcut between main roads to get home quicker.

A beat, for my more innocent of readers, is a place normally outdoors, dark and secluded, where men (straight, gay, bi, married, single, whatever) can go to have anonymous sex. Beat-sex never interested me - Actually, it scared the absolute hell out of me - Guys wound up dead around places like this... and there was sickness... and any number of unknown variables that could seriously fuck you up. As a kid growing up, my dad had always warned me of 'certain places' where 'men did things' - The toilet block by the bike track... The wood by the hiking trail - And I was not to ever go there under any circumstances... I'd basically been conditioned into fearing (and I guess disapproving, to an extent) that kind of lifestylepractice.

And anyway, this was my shortcut...

...Sometimes, just sometimes, as you drove down this road, you could catch a car waiting with it's blinker on waiting to give way to you before turning into 'The Garden'. These cars were nearly always being driven by 'older' men.

As I neared the turn-in - I recognised the car immediately.
This was no older man.

And as I drove down my short-cut, I passed Sam sitting there with his blinker on. Waiting.
Giving way to me.

Somewhere, The Gay-gods I'd given the bird to earlier were watching with smirks on their faces.

...Fuck.